Sunday, August 31, 2008

复杂的心情

好久没有写blog了...最近有点忙...也没什么心情写


最近有一位男生要追求我...担我拒绝了...因为我的心还有他的存在



这几天突然很想念他...回想了以前和他在一起甜蜜幸福的时候...心里还会感觉到一思思的甜蜜与幸福...



我真的很想你...想你以前给我的温柔...想你以前对我的呵护...想你以前对我的关心...想你以前对我的爱...我好想你!我好爱你!!Dear...你会回到我的身边吗?你可以回到我的身边吗?



今天是我们已经分手的第3个月了...爱你的心还是没有改变...你爱那女生的心也是没有改变...为什么你要选择她??我很爱你...









Tuesday, August 26, 2008

我看透了吗?

今天感觉到充满活力...心情开朗...^-^因为在早上我有认真的想御本尊祈求说:"今天我一定要过的很开心...生命境崖要提高...要很有勇气,智慧,坚强的去面对所有问题"...御本尊有求必应...会给予最好的安排给你...所以...林诗静!你不必担心...未来有更好的东西在等着你!!!^-^

我觉得我有慢慢的在忘记你...看透了某些东西...觉得不许要再为你去坚持某些事...也不许要为你而感到不服气...不甘心...因为根本不值得我去那么做...也许到了某一天你才醒觉你以前对我所做的事是那么的无情...那么的不理智...

不过我现在真正的目地并不是要你的到什么样的下场...而是希望看到你改变得一天...我相信这天一定会到来...要记得着一点...你永远不能离开创价学会!遇到困难时要回到行信的原点!这是我们的师匠...sensei告诉我们的!!

一件事情的发生一定有存在着其中的目的...只是身为人的我们如何去看待和面对然后再去挑战过来罢了...生命有错折才是生命...这样你的生命才会过的有意义...^-^

Monday, August 25, 2008

我到底是恨你还是在骗我自己??

已经停了两天没有写blog了...没有时间写...有点忙...要忙学会的东西和忙学业...考试要到咯...嗨...闲!!

昨天学了新的舞步...还好不会很难...跟的上...我很喜欢这次的舞蹈...很有挑战性!!哈哈!!昨天被选为作舞蹈组的PTC...要一身做责咯...^-^

昨天学舞蹈时看到你...心变的很复杂!!!很乱!!!很帕要看到你...很讨厌啊!!!
我到底是恨你,讨厌你还是在骗我自己啊???!!!我不懂!!!看到你手上戴的戒指另到我心痛了一下...心酸了一下...很想从你的手上把它脱下来!!!
我搞不懂为什么我会心痛...是因为我输不起吗??还是我妒嫉你们两个??还是我不负气??还是我还是在乎你...爱你???我搞不懂!!!可是又很奇怪...看到你的背影真让我感觉到很讨厌...很想狠狠的打你一顿!!!我真的是搞不清我自己...好乱...

不过往好的方面想...把这次当作是让我成长的机会...让我做人间革命的时候...虽然很难...但是我不能放弃!!!加油!!!

Friday, August 22, 2008

今天一早起身就跟我爸冷战...因为上次我没有跟我妈去按摩我受伤很久了的左脚...爸,不是我不去按...是因为真的很痛!我懂你是为我好...可是我更了解我自己的情况...我已经尝试过了...所以我知道按摩对我没有帮助反而会另我更痛更辛苦..

爸,我真的不想按摩...真的不想!!!刚才按到痛得我不能顶...而且还哭...流泪...现在我的左脚都红肿了起来...不能弯...很痛啊!!!我不要!!!爸,你就让我去针灸吧...针灸真的对我有效...我感觉得到...我真的不想再去按摩...你也不要再责怪妈妈...不是她的错!!!

按摩回家后不能冲凉...真要我的命啊!等下晚上又要去玉萍得生日party...我不是臭死!我又是很会流汗的人哦...不冲的话真的不行!所以就抹一抹身...让自己觉得比较清爽,清洁一点...差不多6点半我就到了玉苹的家...她的家好大间...

我到的时候已经有10个人左右在那边咯...过后就跟嘉敏谈了一些话...原来她才知道我跟他已经分手了...哈哈!她的消息还挺慢的...我都快和他分手3个月了她才知道...

刚才真的玩的很开心...我的脑海里可以说是完全没有他的存在...我好轻松...好开心!^-^不过我和美汐要早回...因为我爸很早就到了...都还不到10点啊!连和玉萍唱生日歌的机会都没有啊!真不明白...等一个10分钟都不行吗?而且我爸还摆脸色给我看!真的是气到我快爆炸了!今天我跟我爸真的是火星撞地球啊!不过还是算了...做女儿的还是要让爸爸...

对了,今天早上我做了一个很甜美的梦...我好喜欢那个梦...希望等下这个梦会继续下去...我梦见他离开了那个女生...而且还回到了我的身边...他非常的疼我...非常的爱我...^-^...虽然是梦...但是我真的有感觉到幸福的感觉...好甜^-^...不过梦一醒来就要回到现实的世界里...要面对你不再属于我的现实...今天还好..不会那么的想念你...希望明天会继续减少对你的思念...减少对你的爱...减少那份害死我的"不甘心"...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

从爱变到恨

今天我是怎样过的啊?我自己都不清楚...哈哈!
今天一早起身就帮我的老妈子抹地...过后又给我家两个“大老板”弄早餐吃...他们真幸运...有我帮他们弄早餐吃...哈哈!有我在的地方他们肯定不会饿死...哈哈!

刚才傍晚起身后就到厨房和我大姐一起煮晚餐...煮的还不错哦...因为我们的身边有一位"军师"哈哈...她就是我生病的老妈子!虽然她生病,可是她还有力气骂人哦...哈哈!我跟我姐一直被骂...哈哈!因为不懂怎样煮...不过最后还是煮了四样菜...很有成就感...嘻嘻^0^...很开心哦!!

晚上我们出席了座谈会,今天来了俩位来自美国的会有跟俩位来自宾城的会有...欢迎他们! ^-^
可是他没有出席今天的座谈会...没看到他...这也好...不要让我看到他...不然我会很辛苦!
一看到他就会想起很多我不想要的画面...好难受...好累...每天都从复着同样让我伤心...心痛的画面...我看你不会懂我的心...

现在我感觉到我越来越恨你了!!你让我留下了一个让我伤心的回忆...我真的好恨你!!你为什么要这样伤我的心???你懂被伤害过的心是怎样的心情吗??!!你不懂!!我恨你!!骗子!!

爱恨一线之差...我现在开始慢慢懂了...也许我恨你会让我好过一点...我再继续爱着你是我错误的选择...你是一个根本没有资格得到我的爱的人...因为你从来都不珍惜我给你的爱...这种人我根本不需要再去为他留念什么...不值得!!!

现在我可以在这边大声说我恨他...可是不懂明天会是怎样的心情..我真的不懂!!!心情每天有起有落...反反覆覆...好累...慢慢习惯了这种心情...有时爱你...有时恨你...有时伤心...有时开心...有时大笑...有时哭泣...

不过日子还是要过...到不如看开点...把他当做是一个让我成长的一个阶段...让我学会如何看清一个人的机会...也是让我得到宿命转还的时候...然后再心心的过我的日子^-^或许在将来我们会有缘分再在回一起或许没有...又或许你跟她会白头到老而我会遇到属于我真真的幸福...缘分的东西谁也说不来...赞同吗??

当你真真爱上一个人时,
就要付出你的真心,
好好爱他或她.

当你真真爱上一个人时,
就要成实的对待他或她,
因为这样爱情才会长久.

当你真真爱上一个人时,
就不要欺骗他或她,
因为这样你会让他或她心碎.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

....

Just now my house having steambot and satay celup...so nice...eat until s full...haha...im sure that in this holiday all of us will increase at least 2kg...haha...After eating dinner..about 9.30 we leave home and go to Melaka Mall watching movie..."The Mummy"...i had watching twice already...

just now my mind so blur...keep thinking about you and that girl!!!i so hate you!!!You please get out of my mind!!!I hate you!!!Liar!!!Bullshit!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

....

FOR ME,YOU JUST LIKE A DUST!!!
FOR ME,YOU JUST LIKE A SHIT!!!
FOR ME,YOU IS A LIAR!!!
FOR ME,YOU ARE NOTHING!!!

From we start together...you no love me at all and even like me!!!You treat me like a fool!!!You cheat me so many thing but is still believe you!!!Why i so stupid!!!i really so stupid!!!You never appreciate my love!!!No!!!You will get your jugdment soon!!!You better watch out!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

No tittle

Today the discussion meet is so happy...learn many things...

Today nothing to write....

Today write till here only...really no mood to write anything...

Everybody good night...

Saturday, August 16, 2008

2 month and 15 day...i still missing you...^-^

Just now go to KLIA fetch my brother who was came back from Sabah...He slim down already...become more handsome already..haha....really o....so handsome^-^...

Today we had the Bio extra class...9 am to 12 pm..very tired o...after the tuition...shu ting,mei chein,mei shi,youhe and me went to Dataran Pahlawan and MP to buy yoke ping's present...finally we found a watch...white in colour..its so beautiful...i like the watch so much...about 4pm i went back home..because have to prepare to went to KLIA...so excited!

During at D.P...i walk pass his working shop...my heart deep so fast...very nervous...don't know want go to say hi to you or just act like don know you...finally i make a decision...it is go to say hi to you...but went i pass by...you not in the shop...so disappointed...i think today you take leave...maybe that girl is came back to malaka...so you take leave to meet with her...


During the way to KLIA...my heart feel pain...i suddenly think about you and that girl...i imagine you and that girl are so sweet...imagine you and that girl are so sweet during went to the Genting...you and her so sweet...so jealous...really...i want to cry but i cant...

Today no mood to write so many thing...bad mood now...so want go to bed already...and tomorrow is going to johor for junior group PIC discussion meet...hope at there can learn may thing...i stop here now...

Dear,good night...sweet dream....love you so much...


Friday, August 15, 2008

2 month and 13 days...

Feel so tired...today wan to sleep early a bit...after writing my blog going to sleep already...

Our class is canceled to take part in the school singing competition...many things is happen...actually only is a small thing....why want to make it become like this...teacher so stupid!!!Not mei shi's fault...all is teacher's fault!!!Why our form teacher so care about her face??!!Why the Mr.Chan say mei shi ask us to give up in the competition????Did you go to check probably why this thing will happen??Don push away all the fault to mei shi!!!Shit!!Besides that, i want to scold the person who simply tell our form teacher about our class is going to conceal the form teacher to take part in he singing competition!!!Bullshit!!!

Today the add math tuition teaching the probability...luckily i can understand....huh...but got a little bit blur...After tuition...go back to my lovely home....^-^...feel tired already but still don't want go to rest..hehe...

Tomorrow going to KLIA fetch my ugly brother..haha...so excited!!!^0^....

Ok la...today write until here...

But i will not forgot to tell her...
Today i still missing you^-^...
Today i still loving you^-^...
Good night...have a sweet dream...Love you ya....^-^
Take care...



Thursday, August 14, 2008

Normal day...but is happy^-^

Today so lazy going to school..feel so tired...because yesterday i slept on 3 am ++...don't know why can't sleep well..haiz...and yesterday cried again...too miss you...hehe...

In the school...luckily not feel so tired...still can concentrate...but my "neighbor",Zhong Tzer Ming is tired than me...he slept late than me yesterday...he said he slept on 4 am...so geng!haha...

Before the school dismiss...the last lesson is BM class...Pn.Kamisah didn't come...so we use that time to discuss about the singing competition...finally we decide to take part in the singing competition...but somebody is look like not willing to take part...haiz...so disappointed...but hope you all can accept the decision make by the class...give us your cooperation and do the best during the singing competition...5sc2..we can do it!!!Do our best...no need care how other people saying us...criticize us...just do it!!!

Tonight i in charge in the New Human Revolution meeting...so scare man...feel so sad..because didn't do well...haiz...i think i not do enough preparation for the meeting...Gohonzon give me punishment...haha...

In the meeting i see him^-^...but i scare...no brave to see him...so curi-curi see him on the side...feel satisfied already...^-^...after the meeting he go back so quickly...so no chance to chat with him and see him longer time...but i see him in the funeral function...hehe...I though he not going...so happy...can see him again...^o^...Finally we got chance to chat...although didn't talk so many thing...just a few words...but i really satisfied already...really...Feel so happy...Although you are not belong to me...but you will belong to me in my heart...i will not show to you how much i love you...i will just stay a side and love you "quietly"...^-^...ya...want to tell you...don't drink so many coffee...no good for your health...ok...^-^...:

靠近 - 李圣杰


走在人挤人的走道 我问了自己
没有爱情的人 是否会长命
那些电影常常让人感觉甜蜜
但是我 不相信

坐在没有人的角落 我也问自己
究竟应该继续还是该放弃
没有人能了解我 现在的心情
想看你想躲你 难以决定

每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明 我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里 他只是个游戏

我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去 和现在新的你
我还想要参与 你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去

坐在没有人的角落 我也问自己
究竟应该继续还是该放弃
没有人能了解我 现在的心情
想看你想躲你 难以决定

每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明 我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里 他只是个游戏

我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去 和现在新的你
我还想要参与 你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去

能不能够让我再说我爱你
还是你已不想听
能不能够把你彻底的忘记
我是真的搞不清

每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静
眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明
我只想要证明 我们这段爱情
也许在你眼里 他只是个游戏

我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧
回想到那过去 和现在新的你
我还想要参与 你的生活点滴
只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去

只要你再相信 我们会紧紧地靠在一起

i like this song so much....
this song help me to tell you how much i love you...
maybe you will never know how much i love you...
how much i care about you...
but at least i still love you...
then it is enough already...^-^
although i don't know when i will success to let go you...
but at least i know now i still loving you...
i love you dear...^-^


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Yesterday +Today....

2008/8/12 rainy day...

Yesterday cant create a new blog...because yesterday my house was no electric current...luckily the weather is good...if not i will die...haha...then yesterday i cant do my homework at all...12 am ++ the electrical current just back to normal...during wait for the current back to normal...i thinking of you...really so miss you...miss you a lot...but i know i will not think about me at all...but i feel satisfied already...you will always in my heart...a deep deep place in my heart...love you so much...

Finish write about you...then now i want to write about myself...yesterday the NS result came out d...i didn't get!!!yeah..so happy...haha^0^...for my friend who get it must think positive and accept...kk....don sad...


2008/08/13 sunny day...

Today at school happen a lot of think...the judge is so childish!!!!Bullshit!!!Only a little bit thing why need to make it until so complicated??!!!Use your brain and think la...haiz...so disappointed to you...

I think 5sc2 need to take up the challenge...don't just give up like that...if we give up...we really so stupid...what for we need to give up???Is because of our form teacher???That is not the way to solve the problem...Pn.Farm is right...i support her...but a the last...if all of you still choose to give up..then i speechless...i respect the decision that make by you all...

After write about the school thing..now i want to write about my thing...hehe...me very kepo 1..haha...1st... i want to say the Roger Tan(Long Ger)...he so busy body...keep help me to promote my blog...and keep satirize me....huh...but he is funny la..haha...thank you for you to help me to promote my new blog^-^

2nd thing is my friend...Ah Teo...can call him panda also...he really look like a panda..haha..but panda is cute than him...hehe...He accident 2 days ago...luckily not serious...hope he can recover soon...

3rd thing sure write about him lo...because thinking of him become my habit already^-^...Just now miss him so much o...long time no chat with him already...don't know how he and that girl already...i think 2 of you is in happiness now...when you is in the happiness...a stupid person still thinking of you..still loving you...^-^..that is me...How are you already??every think find??miss you so much dear...long time didn't call you like that already...now just can call you dear at here and in my heart...^-^...dear you must take care of yourself o...drink more water ya..don't fall sick...miss you so much...really....love you so much...

Monday, August 11, 2008

Monday

Today at school feel more happy...i feel difference compare with that time we just start broken up...in the school start less missing you...start no feel so sad...but sometime you will still suddenly appear in my mind...my heart will suddenly pain...but just a few second only...after that i will quickly pull me out from that feel...so i will not feel so pain...hope can faster get out from this type of feel..

When you really put many effort on somebody...love she or he very much...believe what she or he say...willing to do something for she of he...hold a stupid and a sweet promise...you sure will get more hurt when you know all this thing will not achieve...when you know she or he is lying you...i'm that kind of stupid person...so stupid...but at least i know im serious in the love...

I start my new life style...that is i try to no sleep over 30 minute in the afternoon...but is till cant adapt that style...make me headache...haha...but i think i will adapt this new life style in the following day...

Just now have a chanting meet in my house...i lead gongyo for 1 hour...not many people attend...only 7 people attend...

Just now the feel come again..shit!!i hate it...this feel only will make me sad...make me down..i don want this type of feel...please get out of my life!!Just now i suddenly "recall" my sweet memory...i thinking about how you treat me when we just start together...you make promise to me...you kiss me...you huge me...so sweet...i smile...but in the real...all of this is gone away...now only left my tears...my pain...and left my heart in your heart...this sweet memory will always in my heart forever...

But i have to face all the cruel of the love with my courage...be positive thinking...i i must live better than you...gambateh...be happy..^-^





Sunday, August 10, 2008

A meaningful day

Today learn many thing in the ywd leader meet...this meeting make me more "energy" to solve my problem...i got hope...i got confidence...i got courage...i believe that i can solve my problem...i have to challenge my problem...i must do like that just can solve my problem...this is the only way...challenge make your life meaningful...create a new victory in your life!!As a youth...we must find something to challenge...not wait the challenge to find you...

Beside that...i want to thank my lovely sensei...Daisaku Ikeda...he give all the ywd a special and a meaningful present to us...its a solemn promise with her...all the ywd must follow every step "walk" by sensei...must find our happiness...must create a victory in our life!!!Thank you sensai!! I will keep my promise...challenge everything that i meet...thank you sensai....

From now...i must learn be a full of courage's girl...be a optimistic girl...be a intelligence girl...be a full of energy's girl....

Today...i start practice dancing again....feel so happy...yeah...haha...this time the dance is so difficult....but is cool...challenging...i like it...

Today write until here...feel so tired today....everybody good night lo...take care...sweet dream^-^


Saturday, August 9, 2008

A normal + special day...

Yesterday i slept so early...because want fall sick d...got a little bit high fever...so i didn't watch the olympic opening ceremony show...hiaz...but never mind la ...my health is important than that....haha...

Today having school replacement...but i play truant...go learn driving car..hehe...so i also have to wake up so early as the school day time...i wake up at 6.15am...then leave my home at 7.10am...fetch my brother go to school 1st.After that...me and my lovely lao dou go to eat breakfast at Bukit Katil there...during the way to Bukit Katil,my lao ma zhi suddenly call my hp...and tell us that her motor is breakdown...my lao dou act so clam...but i know he very nervous...hehe...so i have to eat my nasi lemak as fast as possible to let my lao dou go to "save" mu lao ma zhi...haha...my lao ma zhi sure very touching...haha...but i feel unhappy because have to finish my delicious in a short time...i don't like finish my food in a short time...i like to enjoy my food...eat slowly...haha...so my brother always said me can become a epicure...haha

After eating my "fast" food...i go msdc there wait for my teacher,uncle jimmy...a funny and a cute man...i wait for him about 40 min...so boring...after that i go to attend the boring course for 4 hour...luckly i meet my friend..Lee Fei Yee..haha...he sit beside me...so i feel not so boring...after the boring course...the happy time is coming...it is driving car!!!haha...so happy...1st time driving car...the feel not bad...quite good...so this is a special day for me..^-^

How to say today is my normal day??
Today is my normal day because i still thinking of you+missing you+ heart bleeding+sad+love you+hate you+hope you come back to me...every day this kind of feel will appear in my heart in my mind...so i custom with this all kind of feel d...then this is my normal day...

Friday, August 8, 2008

A cloudy day...a cloudy mood

Today is bei jing 080808 olympic...every one stay at home watch the show...included me...

Today i as usual wake up at 6 am...when i open my eyes...the things that you told me yesterday alway come to my mind again...yesterday night i didn't sleep well...almost 2 am something just fall sleep...yesterday night i keep thinking what you had told me...i can't fall sleep at all...why you want to tell all this to me...i really feel so sad...you said you hope that girl will together with you again...i said i hope you come back to me...your face show me that you will no achieve my hope...haha...i act so strong in front of you...did i stronger enough???did i really stronger???i also don't know myself...

Today during the physic class...i was dreaming...haha....thinking of you...haha...i 1st time dreaming in the class...then i was feel tired in the class...want fall sleep...

Just now go to hospital visit my aunt ...she look better d...the whether is bad...so all of you must take care...drink more water...^_^

Thursday, August 7, 2008

8/8/08

2day is my 1st time blogging...i will start blogging because you ask me to try blogging...very weird right....


just now i chat with my x boyfriend...heart so pain...i want to cry but don't know why my tears didn't drop out from my eyes...i think i custom with this kind of feel d...
time fly so fast...we break up 2 month and 6 days d...but u still in my heart...i want to forget all about you...but don't know why you will suddenly appear in my heart...i really so suffer...

every time i heard about you and that girl...my heart is bleeding...you know my feeling???i think u don't know my feeling...

i love u so much...but you never appreciate my love...you say our love is puppy love...but i don't think so...because i love u so much....really...u said that girl know you more...have a lot of topic can chat...but how about me???i don't know you well???ya...really...we know each other not well...but did you give me a chance to let me know you deep???the answer is "NO"!!!!this is unfair for me....so sad...

after we break up...u only know say sorry to me...but your apologize didn't make my heart better...only you come back to me can make my heart better...but i think this dream will not achieve...because your heart is totally belong to her...so sad....

but what can i do???
i think i only can try my best to let go you from my heart every day....although it is difficult...but i will try my best...
i try to not cry
i try to treat you like my best friend
i try to wish you and her happiness always